If I could just have one more moment to look you in the eyes again; to hold you in my arms and feel your heart beat just like it used to, just as true as the life you breathed inside of me. If you could just see me now, as an adult, and what I've accomplished so far in my life. If you could face me without holding back tears of pain or sorrow .
I would sob. I would cry until my eyes swell shut. Out of happiness that you returned to see your little girl grow up and graduate high school, and that your years of excruciating anguish were just a nightmare. I would be able to see you smile again
smile at my accomplishments, my path, my future. I would gasp for air myself, just to tell you how much I missed everything about you... my hero.
But, fate is too cruel
You'll never be able to meet the wonderful man that my heart has bonded with. You'll never get the chance to see me take hold of any diploma
You'll never walk me down the aisle; and keep me from falling down in heels. You'll never see your grandchildren, or their lives
I'll never be able to sing with you again, talk about time as it came and went, dance in the living room.
Or do really stupid things when mom was away
I'll never get to drive you anywhere special, like I always dreamed of doing
All that I have left of you are the fondest memories a daughter could have of her father: memories of pure, caring, unconditional love and understanding. I cannot thank you enough for your inspiration in my life
I wish I was brave enough to tell you how much you really meant to me;
I never, in all of my life, thought my Daddy would really die
What will always haunt me, is what I didn't do
I didn't stay home enough to keep you company when you were really ill
I blamed you for my anger and depression
my inner pain
When you were suffering far worse than I was
I can never forgive myself for that
Even now, I come to you
. I talk to you alone, as if praying to your spirit. I sit by the tombstone and talk to you as if you were still there
Are you proud of who I've become? Do you still think I'm beautiful? Would you still love the older me?
I'm not a little girl anymore
All of my questions are for you, Daddy
You've left a deep hole in my heart that can never be filled by another person
I need you now more than ever. But, like a misleading God, my voice goes unanswered on your grave, and my cries echo into nothing
Nothing should be my reality; Death is permanent
But I'm still stuck behind the past, clutching to your last breath
Please, save me. Your blood runs though my veins
I need your guidance. I'm losing grip on who I am. Remind me of what you saw in me
I don't want to cry anymore